Let’s Talk About Sex


Warning, do not read this if you are underage, intellectually subpar or eccentrically conservative. You are still reading. Don’t say I didn’t warn you! Still? Well, your choice!

Why is sex so damn good!?! That was the question one speaker at a TED Conference asked, to which he self-replied it’s because it is the only human activity that uses all five human senses. Way to go, right!! Sex is so damn good it smacks senseless moans out of the meekest of men, it is almost the only time you would hear a grown woman weep for no sad reason, and it has the ability to momentarily paralyse men and make the world stand still for a moment. In fact, sex is so damn awesome some have suggested it was the forbidden fruit that created the Garden of Eden scandal, not a fruit, fruit, like apple, if you know what I mean. Of course, you do!

The power of sex is undeniable, the pleasure that it brings is indescribable, the leverage and wreckage it can ejaculate is unfathomable, and the subtle and pronounced regulation that surround it is impregnably dizzying. I have had the privilege of experiencing two cultures that have quite dissimilar lenses on sex; one culture, where sex is an expression of freedom and one where it is an expression of chastity. Let’s make the argument for both.

I call them the Promotionists, because their idea of sex is well, do it when, how, how many times you want. Sex is a form of human interaction, like a handshake, you decide whose hand you will shake. But more so, it is yours to give, for your own pleasure, like the time you spend at the movies. The argument then is that every adult, o yes, no kids, every adult is mature enough to decide their sexual life, as they decide what to eat. It doesn’t have to be on a married bed, why should it? Those who have tried to restrict it to marriage have failed miserably at it anyway. Point is, sex is a natural human need like food and shelter, Maslow said that, not me, and as such when the hunger for it kicks in, it makes no sense to tell someone they can’t do it, especially when nature has freely provided the resources to. So whether you do it with a partner or via self-service, you only have to do it responsibly, and be mindful not to infringe on others’ rights, just like when you eat.

Then there are the Preventionists. I choose to call them that because they advocate abstinence till marriage. In their scope of thought, controlling your sexual libido till you find that one sexual partner, who you should have already married, is the only way we distinguish ourselves from animals who lack restraint. Boy, which always reminds me of a he-goat we had which had babies with his mother, sisters, cousins, daughters and nieces. That goat had game! Anyway, point is abstinence can be key to preventing STDs and unwanted pregnancies. The social order and spiritual purity that it brings has been posited to be beneficial to those who adhere to such principles, in the long term. In this society, virginity is pride, and religiously substantial, as it signifies personal discipline and maturity. Having a sexual drive does not guarantee that you should satiate that drive at every turn, with whomever you please, just because you can. Just because you are hungry doesn’t mean eat anyhow, anywhere, anytime; obesity could kill you.

Promotionists think Preventionist societies have got it all mixed up. Telling you when, and with whom you can have sex, is an attempt by the society to ascribe power to itself by regulating your personal freedom, using an important resource due to its pleasurable essence. They point out that forcefully capping such a vital human need has rather increased the desire for it, hence though less spoken of, more and more people in Preventionists societies pursue their sexual desires outside the society’s regulatory bracket of marriage. So why bother!

Preventionists instead shake their heads at the disgust that Promotionists profess. They insist that such proposed unbridled sexual habits lead to no good, eventually. After all if sex is so damn cheaply attainable, where lies its luxury. Sex is mainly meant for procreation, and the pleasure it brings is a by-product, not meant to be exploited, but pursued in meaningful desire. There is a reason they call it making love, it must mean something, with the one you love, and have vowed before God and men to love till your last breath. What is more pleasant!

At a point, you will tire of the arguments. Pros and cons are characteristic of everything, as the two-sided coin. Here is my advice. Ummm…sorry, I ain’t got none. After all you wouldn’t listen to me, anyway. Why should you! But hey, if you happen to be caught between the two, like being brought up by Preventionists and living with Promotionsists, well, I don’t envy you. Your story will make a story. Wink!

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